Of the free resources available to Glasgow students, one of the most entertaining is the Metro newspaper. It is an extremely versatile piece of publication, providing relationship advice, cleaning hacks and free fast food coupons. On the subway it is a commonly discarded item, left on the floor next to a bottle of bucky’s and swept away before 6:30 am for the next day. However, if you are ever in with the opportunity to swipe a copy, do it! I will provide an exclusive guide below for how this can be a versatile and useful publication.
The first: if your gossip circle is a bit dried up recently, the Metro provides a column guaranteed to charm and delight. Rush hour crush is a hidden gem found usually among the lifestyle section just before the puzzle pages. People from all over the UK write in and describe their crushes they happened to spot that morning on their rush hour commute and leave a little description of themselves for their admirer to hopefully spot. It is currently unknown to me and anyone (especially those at the metro) how those people then get in touch, as obviously no kind of contact is written but a vague description like ‘Long, dark-haired dude in purple cord trousers’, or simply, ‘Tim’. The crushes range from sweet to strange, and are a lovably old-fashioned way of finding romance. Some hope to get in touch with much older lost connections; Phil avidly hoped to reconnect with ‘the most amazing girl with the dogtooth skirt who I met outside Peri’s in Chelmsford in 1992 on the occasion of your 50th birthday’. This would now make the girl almost 83. Some are insightful; ‘I have a feeling you like dogs?’ – Black coat, worn out brown leather bag. And some reveal dietary habits ‘I can’t remember what I had for breakfast today’ – James. Whether you’re heading to your lectures or on the way to city-centre for a night out, rush hour crush provides excellent light reading for the way.
One of the best sections of the Metro is the puzzle page which has just been updated to cover two whole pages. They provide perfect distraction from essays when you’re in the library, or a crossword accompaniment to do with a cup of tea or a pint. This section is also coupled with the infamous metroscope. Should you ever need confirmation that you should go through with that business deal or sort out the struggles in your marriage, then the metro has you covered. I can confirm that generally the advice is sound and can provide candid advice on decisions or struggles you may be having. You may receive sage advice to financially invest and wind up with a fresh coffee and a Lidl pastry before lectures.
Although the Metro is packed with puzzles and life advice, it also makes for a versatile tool and material in many situations. When you find yourself caught short in the rain, the Metro is an on-hand umbrella solution, if a bit absorbent and demolished by the end of your walk. However, this absorbent property comes in handy when needing to mop up a spillage on a reading room keyboard, or to soak up said rain that found its way into your phone charging port. It is also a great art supply, my go to choice for wrapping presents or perhaps a bit of paper-mâché for a Halloween costume. Putting them in your shoes which have been soaked by the rain and a fruit fly swatter for that mug you haven’t got round to cleaning in the kitchen, the Metro is a versatile resource for many needs. I usually have a pile in my room for such uses, which doubles as a coordination and stacking exercise for the miscellaneous items I don’t know where to put in my room.
I often have a Metro on me to whip out in times of need. The puzzle pages make for excellent entertainment between lectures, and the articles towards the back of the paper contain strange but interesting stories to read whilst on the subway. If you desire to find out all the names of Gemma Collins’ pets (latest addition: Marvin, the chameleon), the Metro is your paper. Come get your Metro on the Glasgow subway, read all about it!
Author: Isabella Bryne (they/them)
qmunicatemagazine.co.uk 